Faithfulness

So my devotional is really good.  Although I can't do it everyday because of how hard it is to bring back things to my remembrance, this one that I just did was so good.  It talks about the pit of innocence, how I can end up in it before I even knew what hit me.  When this type of pit comes it can be very complicated to deal with emotional and spiritually.  The things in my life that have innocently thrown me into this pit are Abbott suffering from a mental illness,Abbott's disease, Abbott being a special needs child, and the death of a my baby Abbott. But God has reminded me of His faithfulness, that I need to trust Him and that He loves me. The truth does indeed set us free-truth about how difficult and painful certain chapters of our lives have been and truth about how God can and absolutely redeems those times.  I have been in a pit, and I cry out to God to get me out. I didn't deserve this one bit, just like Joseph didn't deserve to get thrown into the pit by his brothers.  But I remain to keep looking up, it is hard to be reminded that I no longer have Abbott in my arms.  Just last week was one of the most painful weeks I could have ever endured.  Last week was a mark that it has been exactly two years since Abbott was diagnosed and had his first brain surgery.  Little did I know at that time what kind of journey I was going to be traveling on.

Here we were holding on to Abbott, and now I can feel Heaven Holds me and I am in His hands. Even though my world has shaken Heaven stands.  These are a couple of lyrics from different songs and they are really getting me through this time without getting to hold Abbott.  I know that Abbott is my future and I will one day see him again.

Supernatural

This year will be Casey's and mine supernatural year.  The Lord is going to help me regain a sense of hope for the future, wonder at the gift of life, and joy in His amazing grace and Love for me. 

Casey and I got the privilege to hear Dr. Sevelle come speak at our church.  He truly brought a message from God.  His message really opened my eyes to see things a little more clearly in life.  As I was going back over all my notes from last night and reading John 16 it started making more sense.  He will show us things to come. 

John16:13 says, " When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth.  For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak whatever HE hears.  He will also declare to you what is to come." 

Further into the chapter Jesus talks about how my sorrow will turn into joy and my heart will rejoice and NO ONE will rob me of my joy. I am so thankful that we serve an amazing Father that will restore my heart again and who gives me a hope and future. I believe that my NOW has come and that Enough is Enough.  I am expecting great things to come into mine and Casey's lives.  My expectancy is on Him and Him alone. We are running a race and even though the waves my crash around me I'm not going to give up.  I have a due season coming and this will be my combat year. 

Casey and I love to see where God is taking us.  This past week I finally graduated college, it took me a while, but I finally did it.  Casey is doing amazing in his real estate business and this week I have started looking for a job.  I want to work part time for now and maybe go up to a full time position.  We will see.  I have enjoyed learning many things on this journey and still have a ways to go, and this year will be our supernatural year.

Leading Up to Mother's Day!

Well I can already tell this is going to be a long post.

So Thursday was my lat day of school before I walk across the stage as a college graduate.  I am so excited, this is a huge accomplishment for me considering my son went to dance with Jesus in January.  It was a tough semester but it definitely helped me get through the days.  So after I turned in all my final projects I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment and Dr. Auzenne blessed me with a free adjustment for Mother's day.  How awesome!! So from there I went to get my hair done for summer and graduation and my hairdresser also didn't let me pay.  How blessed am I this Mother's day.
Here is my new hair do.

Now I wake up Friday morning with a bang on the door and there are a bouquet of flowers from Abbott's nursing agency thinking of me this Mother's Day.  That was very touching.  Here are the flowers.

Now I go on throughout my day and the mail comes in and there is a check for an amount that was extremely unexpected.  More than blessed for this Mother's Day.

So now it's time for me to go to the church and work for the afternoon.  I got all my stuff done and went over to Kidzway grabbed some papers that needed to go to recycling and instead of putting them straight in the pile I decided to go through them.  Guess what I found?  I picture that my son had colored who knows how long ago.  I was so excited I went to tell my friend Pastor Elizabeth and she said, " What a great Mother's Day gift!" I can't wait til my office is ready because I am framing it and putting it right on my desk where I will see it everyday for many days to come. Here is the picture my most wonderful son colored!






















So then I get home and my husband takes me out for my Mother's Day present to the TSO.  It was an amazing concert and I couldn't ask for a better hubby than the one I am so dearly blessed with.  God really knows what He is doing up there because He gave me an amazing man to grow up with.

Well now it is Saturday and I spent a great time with family.  My bro uncle bustin (JUSTIN) bought me, Amanda, and Casey lunch for Mother's Day.  My brother and his girlfriend got me a Mother's Day present.  A devotional I have been wanting by Beth Moore. And my husband bought me some really cool flowers from South Africa.  Finally to end the day we made our mom's their Mother's Day presents with their favorite chocolate candy.

So it's not even Mother's Day yet and people really took care of me.  I can't wait til the day comes and I have another little Wyatt baby running around so that they can color me pictures, but until that day comes I will lean on God to give me the love that my child gave me every day.  As I sit here writing this I have tears rolling down in both joy and sadness, just waiting til I get to meet our Sweet Jesus and see my dear Abbott again. I know that we serve a good God who is loving and cares for us deeply.  He has my name written on his hands, there not just written in a book, but they are also written on his hands.  I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to wrap his love around Casey and I and give us exactly what we need to make it through this season.  We have come a long way and we know in this valley we won't stay.  I will live my life with a purpose, to be joyful again. This is the prayer that is in my new devotional.
Lord God, how wonderful that we can live our days on this planet with a purpose- and how wonderful that when You call us to fulfill that purpose, You empower us as well! I ask for that power, Lord. Whether I'm living out my purpose by being a wife, a mother, or a friend for you may I find strength and joy.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands."
Psalm 138:8

Relay

This weekend Casey and I went to Canyon's Relay For Life.  Every time we drive towards Canyon my body cringes.  It just doesn't seem right that a town can make me dread going there.  I noticed that the last post that I put with Abbott still in my arms was how sick he was, then I jumped back into the blogging world months later trying to grasp the fact that I just spent my first holiday with out my baby boy.  And here it is again this weekend spending Mother's Day and really not feeling like a mother anymore because I don't have a baby to put to sleep or take to the park.  I think to myself that i really got all of this from one evening driving to Canyon.   But once Casey and I were at the Relay is was a special feeling.  Abbott had two luminaries in memory of him.  When I first saw these it made me so sad and I just cried in Casey's arms thinking first of all that he has one, and that it doesn't say in honor of, but it says in memory of.  Really, it says IN MEMORY OF ABBOTT WYATT.  It is still so hard to imagine that he is gone.  Our life has changed, our whole life has changed.  Casey and I got to light the luminaries and walk around the track for Abbott.  It was an amazing surprise to see Abbott's name in another town.  Just makes me realize how much this 2 1/2 year old boy impacted peoples lives.  Abbott will forever be in our hearts, when Casey and I do things to help us remember him, those things have really helped us.

So since Casey and I have had so much fun at Canyon's Relay I want to encourage you to come and have fun with Team Abbott at Amarillo's Relay For Life.  You can click on the link to sign up right now and help support our Team.  If you sign up before May 9th you will be able to go to The South YMCA for free for the month of MAY.  That sounds like a good incentive to me! 
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11PL?team_id=909152&pg=team&fr_id=32277

We only have 39 more days left and Casey and I want it to be a special time, not only for us two but for all of you that helped fight the battle along side Abbott.  Abbott doesn't have to fight anymore and I am truly thankful for that, I do miss him dearly but I am happy for the life I had with him and continue to have.   He was truly an amazing boy that showed me so many things in life.  My life will be forever changed because of Abbott.

Easter was Amazing!!

So our first Easter without a baby came and gone.  I really don't think I had time to think about a lot it.  Casey and I went to church and listened to a wonderful service, we then went to Memory Gardens and visited Abbott.  I really thought that I wanted to have a picnic there but still wasn't ready. His head plate looks so pretty, we put his name, butterflies, and his picture on it.  After about 10 minutes there with Casey, Amanda, Kaymen, and myself we went to the park for a family Easter Egg Hunt.  We all sat on a picnic table and ate picnic food so we would be ready for the festivities.  The party started with Chubby Bunny, followed by the egg hunt (kids and adults), then an egg race, potato sack race, and ending with a pinata.  My cousin Ashley did an amazing job and while none of my immediate family came to celebrate, I'm learning more about this new normal life of mine. 

Monday came and Amanda and I decided to fix a car seat and stroller for a girl that had a preemie on Easter.  Her little girl Ava was born at around 2 pounds.  We died the travel system pink for little Ava and we pray that she gets to go home soon with her mommy and daddy.  I had a lot of fun fixing this up and had a precious time getting to meet this special family.  They got to hold Ava for the first time on Monday for about an hour and as a mother I bet that was thrilling.  Our family will be praying for Ava and I ask that you pray for her too.

I know this post was a bit choppy but Easter isn't just to celebrated on Sunday, it follows over to many days because our Savior is Risen and will be forever more.  This is Ava's parents and the travel system Amanda and I fixed up for them.

Heidi

The reason I Relay!

My reason I relay is for Abbott.  Abbott Russell Wyatt is my 2 1/2 year old son that has gone to be with Jesus.  Abbott died here on earth from a brain tumor called AT/RT.  He went through more than I can even imagine and I did everything with him.  This Easter is a huge remembrance for me because it is the first one without Abbott but also a reminder of the ultimate sacrifice Jesus did while dying on the cross for us.  I'm more thankful for that this year because Abbott is in Heaven rejoicing because of my/your Jesus.  If it weren't for Jesus My Abbott wouldn't be there in Heaven waiting on me.  I want to thank all of you for joining Team Abbott and keeping his Legacy going forever.  He changed many lives and he will continue to change more and more everyday.  I love my Abbott and can't wait til I am reunited with him, but until that day I will continue Abbott's Legacy forever by changing lives through the power of Jesus.

Starting the New Year right!

This is something I will do this year.  I love to be able to keep all of you updated through out our life.  Abbott has been better, a week before Christmas we found out that the cancer he had called AT/RT has come back and that he doesn't just have one tumor growing but he has 11 tumors growing all over his head.  It was definitely devastating news to find out especially before Christmas.  He has started his treatment that we were doing again but going three times a week and then doubling the dose.  It makes him quite tired but he is making it through.  Although just 2 weeks ago we had to rush him into emergency surgery to have a shunt put into his brain.  I never thought that once again I would be praying for life for my child to stay here on this earth.  But again God preformed miracles that we can't fathom on Abbott.  The good thing about this was finding out that the reason we had to have the surgery was because the tumors are dieing and it is causing the brain to swell and cause inflammation.  So yeah tumors are dissipating!!  On the other side though it has made Abbott very weak, he hasn't been able to bear any weight on his legs for about 3 weeks now and is having a hard time holding his head up.  But our faith is in the Lord and he shall deliver Abbott of these tumors and of cancer for the rest of his days.  I thank God everyday that he has placed Abbott into our lives, we are the only parents for him and to me that is great.  Well my little boy is siting in my lap and ready to go to bed AGAIN so goodnight.

 Heidi

Update

Merry Christmas Everyone,
Just to update everyone, we have now quit chemo about 2 months ago and gone through alternative treatments and Abbott is doing great.  It was not an easy decision to make for our child, but it was the best one.  Abbott is thriving more now than ever and he had a MRI on the 16th and the results came back "beautiful".  Our Dr. and the radiologist couldn't even tell where the tumor was.  I hope Abbott's story inspires us all to know that there are more options out there for ourselves and children.  If you would like to know more contact me and I will share more with you.

Much Love
Heidi

Two Weeks remaining!!

So I really need to do this more.  I have been reading this other moms blog that has a son with the same type of cancer as Abbott and it has really got me thinking about how informed ya'll would be if I wrote more.  Well we only have two oweeks left of chemo every week and our radiation treatments will be over.  Yeah!! I am so excited since the colder months are just around the corner and we won't have to go to the clinic with all the sick kids to get weekly chemo.  TWO WEEKS. Abbott is doing good and playing nicely, still not eating anything.  I think he wants a bottle and he can only eat pudding thick foods.  At least he has fun playing in the food at dinner.

Things to pray for:

-Abbott has his clubfoot appt. on Wed. we hope the foot is still flexible since we don't put his shoes on anymore

-He has a ear nose and throat appt on Wed. we hope his vocal cords are healing nice enough maybe to give him a bottle

-On Thurs. an appt. with the surgeon to hopefully get the tummy button

-For all nausea to stop

-For high blood counts

-Cancer free

Abbott is Famous

http://myhighplains.com/content/fulltext/?cid=77251

I feel like crap!!

So my goal now is to blog as much as I can about every feeling that I ever feel. I have learned that I don't have to just tell the pretty stuff and in reality my life doesn't feel pretty most of the time. So today i feel like crap. They told me that Abbott has a staph infection and I feel like it is a containment, so I am going to have them stick him again with a new needle and draw the blood again. Now today is going to be the greatest day and good things are going to happen to me today. I am expecting GOD.
Now that you know how I feel, Abbott had a tummy surgery done on Friday to allow him to not throw up anymore. I am so excited that my son no longer has a tube coming out of his nose, but now just out of his belly.

to be continued........

Treatment has started

So Abbott has now had two induction treatments and the second one was by far better. It just shows how amazing GOD is that this will never happen a second time. You know as days go by there are times I cry my heart out and then there are times I just look at Abbott and smile and laugh. I love having him in our lives. The Wyatt family has now spent the last two months in a hospital and we are defintely tired of it. The great thing though is that GOD will always make things good for what the devil does for harm. Abbott now can fall asleep all on his own which is siomething we would have started when he turned a year, he still seems to smile and laugh even through treatments. GOD has always been faithful and we know that triumph is coming even though we can't see it yet, it's coming. A dear friend helped me realize that and to just hold on and wait on the Lord because He is good. She helped me see that even when I feel totally helpless while our baby doesn't feel good that I can lean on God and allow the holyspirit to step in and give me grace and strength. I choose joy everyday even when I don't feel like it GOD has appointed it to me and I choose it. We will continue to praise GOD through this storm in out lives and KNOW that we will come out on top of this. We are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. No weapon forged against us will prosper. All the tools that our pastor has taught us we now use everyday. I want all ya'll to know that we know that Abbott is healed and made whole and that all three of us are doing amazing. God Bless you!!

A Lot Has Happened

Well it sure has been a while since I have wrote anything. I really need to get on here more often, not just to let all of ya'll know more, but for me to keep myself in check. So here are the series of events over the last months. On May 14, 2009 our son Abbott ended up with a brain tumor in the back of his brain called the cerebellum. About a month before that Abbott started throwing up everyday a couple of times a day. I took him to 2 doctors a week. The first dr. was at urgent care and she told me I was over feeding him, then I followed up with my peditrician and he told me that Abbott was just severely teething. So a week went by and still throwing up and it was getting worse, everytime I laid him down or picked him up he would throw up. So then I took him to a nurse practioner and she told me that all the snot in Abbott's nose is running down his throat and making him sick, then a follow up with my dr. and now Abbott had a stomach virus and he should be felling better soon. So now on week 3 and not getting any better, we took Abbott to the ER and they ran every test they could think of, and decided that Abbott has severe acid reflux, they Rx some meds and told me to follow up with our dr. Casey and I were still not convincecd that this was the answer we had prayed for, going into our dr. Abbott crashed. His tiny big body just couldn't take it anymore and he finally showed the dr. what I had been seeing for weeks. He sent us to the hospital so that an upper GI could be done and Abbott could get hydrated. The next day all the tests came back perfect. He was about to send us home when Abbott threw up again, so a CT scan was orderd and at 11:00pm May 14, 2009 Casey and I found out the most horrific news any parent ever wants to hear. That our son of 11 months old has a brain tumor in the back of his brain. All I remember is screaming and crying so hard, and feeling such a deep pain. Finally after calling our Pastors, parents, and small group leaders Casey grabs my arm and tells me to be strong. I immediately stopped crying and knew that Abbott needed a strong mommy. At about 5:00am on the 15th Abbott and I were on a plane to Dallas with Casey and his mom shortly behind us. I remember not sleeping and feeling a huge weight on my shoulders. Finally arriving in Dallas and talking to our dear NA (Nurse Assistant) Lucy, that weight finally left. Lucy was a huge help she answered every question and let us know that Abbott was in good hands. Dr. Price was an amazing dr. to talk to and she told us that she had already performed 2 of these surgeries this week. So we waited a couple of days before surgery, and on the 18th brain surgery was performed on our sweet baby boy. Once again I handed him over to dr.s like I was handing him over to our church nursery. Sitting in the waiting room we had so much fun, you would have never though that we were waiting for an 11 month old to come out of brain surgery. Abbott was amazing he recovered beautifully and was back to the 9th floor with Lucy and our new NA Bo who was also amazing still answering our questions. The 22nd Dr. Bowers the Oncologist came into tell me that Abbott has a rare tumor called AT/RT and that he will have to take chemo. I didn't get a lot of info from him and still seemed very confused, but life still went on we were getting Abbott back to being Abbott. On the 23rd Abbott had taken a turn for the worse and he ended up with an infection in his brain. I never thought that we would have to pray and speak life over our precious angel. In the course of that week being in ICU Abbott hit a normal milestone getting 4 top teeth at once. The good thing is that he had some good drugs for teething. The 28th Abbott had another CT scan and it showed that the infection doesn't want to leave so surgery was planned to take out his drain tube in his brain and replace it with a new one. I was so devestated, another surgery I thought I can't take it anymore. I remember Casey praying and our partners praying that God shows up to not allow Abbott to have another sugery, and HE did. Just 1 hour before surgery our dr. came in and told us that they are going to give Abbott and chance. That means that they will clamp the EVD (drain tube) and check pressures in the morning, if everything is great then we will have the tube taken out and not replaced. Just let his body drain the fluid like normal bodies do. And yeah pressures are perfect!! Then the 3rd of June Abbott went in to have his port put in place so that chemo could be administered perfectly. Well something happened and we had to go back into surgery to replace the port one centimeter. Is that not crazy!! Finally after the nurses taught Casey and I how to give Abbott shots, stick a feeding tube down, and give him all his meds we got to leave the hospital on June 6, 2009. We had to stay in Dallas for a couple of days and got to show Abbott around. The first night at the Perge's house was very emotional. Not only was I excited that our 22 day stay in the hospital was over, but that I now was Abbott's nurse and meds were to be given NOW, but that chapter is over and a new one begins.

da da da session

I know the Heidi & Big A have taken over the Blog, DaDaDA (as I am affectionately known as by abbott) still know how to get one here and brag about his two favorite people in the WORLD. I am blessed to have the best person ever to take care of my mini me. I know he looks like me but he is definately a momma's boy. I am so glad that she gets to stay home/go with mom to work. There is no one other way that I would have it. Love Both of you soooo much. I know all babies are cute but whats cuter than a baby with more rolls than the Pillsbury Dough Man and the personality to go along with it. It definately gives me a reason to get out of bed and make the world a better place. GOD BLESS ALL & Goodnight

So Big!!

Abbott is getting so big. I can't believe that it has already been 9 months. I feel like it was just yesterday when we brought him home from the hospital. He already knows how to say, Bye Bye, Ma Ma, & Da Da. He can sign the word milk which is really cool because now I know when he is hungry before he ever gets upset or on some sort of hourly schedule. His one year birthday is gonna be here before we know it and then we'll have a big boy running around the house. I have so much fun with him, he brings smiles to my face every day. I have been so blessed to get to stay home with him most of the time so I never have to miss anything. Hope everyone is having a great week out there. Until next time...

Abbott Got His Shoes Off!!

yeah, Abbott only has to wear his shoes 10-12 hours a day and that takes up the whole night time. He has been such a joy in our lives, it is so fun to see him now without his brace on. He is crawling, and starting to pull up on things. We went to the park yesterday and he loves the swing. He just giggled the whole time. Our only struggle is that he is loving his shoes off that night sleep is a bit disruptive. Casey got up with us last night and just rubbed his hips, he found so much comfort in that. Here are some new pics, hope you enjoy!!

Catching Up

Well lots have still happened here at the Wyatt household. Abbott is now scooting all over the floor doing the army crawl and today he woke up with his first tooth. The funny thing is that he slept all night long so it took me a while to realize that he had a tooth. Casey got a new job at our church doing the T.V. ministry. This couldn't have happened at a better time, he absolutly loves it. Last week we finally got family pics taken for the first time and i am so anxious to go and see them this week. Abbott does so good in front of a camera. He gets his shoes off during the day on feb. 16th so we are really excited and can't wait to see how he acts. Well here are a couple of pics that I thought needed to be shared.

MOM has taken over

So Casey has finally convinced me that this is fun. Plus I get to talk to other moms out there that do the same thing that I do all day long (take care of their precious loved ones). So since I didn't start this until now I have a lot to catch all of you up on. Abbott is now almost 7 months old and has mastered many milestones. He has been through a lot that neither Casey nor I have ever had to go through. From day 6 he has had a cast on, then around 4 months he had surgery to cut his tendon on his heel, then after 4 weeks of a very smelly cast he finally got into his FAB (foot abduction brace with markell shoes). For those of you that don't know Abbott has bcf (bilateral club foot). He is a very easy going boy, doesn't cry much only when he's hungry. Which is kind of funny because it's not like I don't feed the boy. We go to our 6 month check up this month and I'm very anxious to see how much he weighs. Right before Christmas he was 23 pounds.

the wyatt fam

Well my first personal blog, I've finally joined that totally technical world of cyberspace. Well maybe not joined but finally reluctantly got a membersip.

This is a picture of my Beautiful wife Heidi (even if her tongue is all the way out of her mouth thats kind of how w

e do thing a little on the different side) and I on our quite snowy wedding in January of 2007. I would say for me it was love at first sight on that Blind Date on St. Patrick's Day of 2005. Not so for Heidi I had to persuade her that I was her night in shinning armor, she wouldn't even give me her phone number so that I could call her to make sure that she made it home okay.

Then around nine months later we had the greatest addition to our family other than one another. We were blessed with the most awesome baby boy known to man. He was name Abbott (after some guy in the credit of the movie August Rush) and his middle name was Russell after my Mother's late father Charles Russell Kimball. He was born on 6/10/08 and was a bouncing baby boy weighing 7lbs 5 oz and stretching 20.25 inches. Here's our first family picture.

I Look forward to letting all of you know more about us and keeping intouch with more of my friends and family. God Bless and Good Day